My best wishes to all for a joyous 2023.
When It’s Our Nature to Nurture,project started, I had no idea that it could become a metaphor for what it is to be human. I thought it was just a cute phrase to remind us to be more respectful to others. But nurturing each other, I soon found out, through the published research by scientist in various disciplines is how our species is meant to survive and flourish, plan for the future, and how we were able to build the pyramids and send people to the moon. Finding ways of improving our interactions with each other is a worthwhile project. One might—I might–argue that it is the best way to spend our time and energy together. We can find pleasure in various venues by ourselves or with others in superficial or productive activity., It is better than being bored but does not measure up to that feeling we describe as joyous. which happens when we experience a new level of achievement that we worked hard for just for our personal satisfactions not for or against any one.These are the experiences that defines living a joyful life at its pinnacle. there are a number of ideas of how to do this. but most suggestions may be informative at some level but lack critical components. There seems to be a randomness, in who gets what attributes or challenges that might interfere or support. It may be some are blessed with right attributes and stumble into the appropriate behavior, others are also born with the right traits, but other things in life, I will assume for myself and the readers, that we have the ability to pursue the joyful life. and find pleasure in improving our quality of life
I do not expect anyone to accept my statements and suggestions in this or any future messages. Instead, I depend on you to offer your perspective and be open to respectful questions in the spirit of dialogue and advancing knowledge. I hope that enough people will be interested enough to commit to a half dozen meetings or more to see how close we can come to delivering on supporting improved relationships with family, friends and consequential strangers, as well as improved quality of life for ourselves.
The program will include, along with dialogue, role-plays in a group setting where each person decides when and how to participate in ways that are respectful for all. I commit to the project being fun and informative.
A few things that I am listing below based on my research over the last few years can be both foundations and subjects for dialogue and exploration at future meetings.
1. Our bodies, which always include our brains and minds, have a prime directive to monitor and regulate our environment as best they can, even if our behavior appears to be weird, improper, and/or destructive.
2. Meaningful social connections are essential for physical and mental health, and a satisfying life.
3. We are influenced by others as we also influence them, even when neither party is consciously aware of the process.
4. Our behavior is affected less by our intentions and values than by other non-conscious events, but conscious effects can be engaged with practice.
5. We learn best, if at all, when we feel safe, or safe enough for some social engagement to take place.
6. We are most creative and productive when we pursue goals that are joyful and fulfilling in their pursuit alone, not simply for personal future benefits.
7. The two topics that seem to be emphasized in my research are the importance of meaningful social engagement and mindfulness.
8. The “right” behaviors are ones that supports the fundamental need of human beings, other living things, and the planet. The opposite behaviors support domination and lack of cooperation and create an unsafe environment for all other life forms. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” If we are not aware of most of our actions (behaviors) then we cannot count on ourselves and each other to do the “right” thing until we find ways to address our limitations and theirs.
9. Culture is a pattern that allows us to transmit values, ideas, knowledge and behavior so that that there can be a high level of cooperation between people over large areas relatively quickly. If we want to shift the culture, we also need to address any loss of cooperation.
10, Every social engagement is viewed by our body in terms of safety or safe enough for us to move ahead or prepare to defend our-self from danger. Safety is such an important state that the body makes the decision quickly to support the behavior and actions that support safety . but there is a special case within the Vagal neurons that if the sensors detects a friendly human being, the mechanism that directs the defense behavior is moderated some what to confirm if the state is actually safe enough for engagement rather than defense. The body is interpreting information from the environment and the life history of the individual, that another if the trigger for the defensive action was due to a human being, it was more likely that the situation was safe enough to moderate the defense behaviors. That is an example of how powerful affect that we human beings have on one another.
Each time we engage another human we can influence their future behaviors as to how safe they could anticipate the next social experience,