Background
There is a process using conflict resolution that is data based with a history of successful intervention that address conflicts between parties. Prejudice and stereotyping are a form of conflict. Notwithstanding the range of broad cultural and racial diversity in the United States there is no lack of structural racism and personal levels of bias and stereotyping. Even when neighbors, workmates, friends, and life partners of our family and the family of our in-laws are “people of color,” conversations are still awkward.
It is important and necessary to find ways to have conversations, but it is equally important that the dialogue takes place in an environment where participants feel free to express their opinions and are expected to listen to opposing views where different opinions and stories can be explored. This was shown by work of Broockman and Kalla, (2016) a field study which was demonstrated to effect change for at least three months with people who hold what some would call racist opinions. The study showed that it is possible to change perspectives and modify positions on contentious subjects even within a short intervention. The process does not usually make best buddies, but participants have learned to have respectful conversations and better opinions of each other.
Our Nation is experiencing long standing major conflicts; Liberty vs Equality: two human values; one that addresses our need for independence and the other our need for social cooperation, both shaped by environment and inherited from evolution or God whichever is in your tradition These two values among others are critical for our individual and species survival. The uniqueness of America is not that we just hold these values precious, or that America alone recognizes these human values, but we are willing to indulge in self-scrutiny and welcome criticism so that we can better reconcile the needs of the individual in the framework of creating the common good and incorporating liberty and justice for all.
The Founding Fathers and the women in their lives brought ideals about government and the rights of man and enshrined them in various documents. We teach them to our children, we share them with emerging governments around the world and we write, sing and recite poems and songs around them.
Yet, we seldom live them, Is that crazy? No, because as humans we do that all the time. Say one thing, do another.We do things that are dangerous or are not in our best interests, detrimental to our health and safety, and health and safety of others. Where is the line that says others have an equal voice that argues for being in a safe environment. The need to assert our liberty in spite of endangering either or both ourselves or others is in conflict with our sense of freedom. There are times when the common good is abused and large groups of individuals are neglected as in the case of structural racism . Our government and culture navigates and finds ways to reconcile or mediate these conditions to a degree. and the situation gets better, not good, but better.
These conflicts take place often. sometimes every day with some with family and friends. At this level it is very easy to navigate when our family or friends are considerate and let us be. We are often even in conflict with ourselves; about whether we should eat or do something that feels good but we know is not good or for us or could be a burden on someone else. Sometimes we listen to our “conscience” and sometimes we don’t. Most of us navigate that conflict regardless of the consequences. and sometimes we take corrective action.
It is not a question of being perfect, It usually the case of what has happened in our life the last 5 minutes, five years or more. Being human is being able to do what we want, that is part of our nature and in our DNA It is also part of our nature to be social to know that we depend on others as others depend on us. whether it is family, friends, or the truck driver delivering a meal from the restaurant. We can get stuck and our perspective gets distorted seeing only one way thwarting our ability to recognize and navigate between two values, thinking that it has to be either one way or the other. We fought a civil war started maybe by accident but for sure because we could not address the dominant issue of the time; slavery vs lifestyle.
We are at a similar place in our culture where there is only one answer for any problem and each side has that albeit a different one and to quote the title of a book by James Hoggan, I’m Right and You’re an Idiot. Both sides have an answer that is neither right or wrong, just different but can not be discussed with mutual respect: social justice issues, like racism, economic inequality, climate change, job security and deteriorating relations with our European allies and increasing tensions with China for a start. Not to mention climate change, the current pandemic and the lack of preparations of the inevitable next pandemic, assuming this one does not kill so many of us that it destroys our ability to cope. How did we get here? how do we move from this place?
There are those , who have serious malfunctioning sections of their brains that see no value in others, they abuse them, use them as objects to satisfy their sexual cravings or whatever personally benefits their needs, desires, legal or perform illegal acts because they have the freedom and liberty to do whatever they want, or so their brain tells them. These people self destruct but also can reek indeterminable level of havoc so the can not be long ignored.
As a society we have become uncooperative, not willing to even listen to each other. The solution and the problem is you and I. We have met the enemy and they are us. so it has been said. It is easy to say,”Stop living in a bubble where the answers are always either this or that; right or wrong, black or white. The answer is mostly this and that, liberty and equality…maybe for different reasons, different times, or different places”. It turns out all of us have the communication skills that are needed to resolve most conflicts particularly even those heated argument around the dinner table. What stands in the way is human nature, It is a human natural reaction to defend one’s opinion or perspective. Rather than than discuss all the cognitive science studies that confirm this human response, we will spend the rest of this piece describing a process that can support people in their attempt to have meaningful conversations, and be likewise reminded of the kind of communication skills that are necessary and important when looking to have fruitful and creative dialogue.
Home All is extending that process by including the principles of Transformative Mediation, a process that encourages the empowerment and recognition of the participants. When this happens participants feel stronger, less defensive, and better able to hear and openly discuss conflicting viewpoints. A successful outcome does not require anyone to change their mind; only that the participants feel they have a better understanding of the issues, themselves, and others. A rich history of more than 30 years of results supports the concept and theory of this process. (Bush and Folger, 1994.
The format for this pilot project was developed prior to social distancing practice. Approximately 15-25 participants would meet face to face, share a meal, explore possible outcomes for a related common problem, engage in a facilitated Transformative Dialogue, and enjoy an improvised live performance (in the form of Playback Theatre) that uses mine and dance to portray important elements of the day’s experience. Using a different and unique form of reenacting events is a supportive aspect of how learning takes place. The performance will be created and acted by local professional artists in a local nonprofit organization with national and international experience.
An on-line alternative to the face to face format was also developed with different advantages but with the same goals. The online format has the advantage of having people join from different geographical areas. The dinner and a show component would be done at a later date and would serve to reinforce of the values gained in the on-line session.
Outcomes:
Home All is combining several elements and formats that are recognized as important learning practices that can affect previously held positions with processes that use the uniquely human cognitive skills of reflection and reflexive that are used to reassess a social or interpersonal condition to achieve a successful outcome .All participants are recognized as having opinions of value. As mentioned, sound academic literature and actual field experience predicts that the process can produce the anticipated outcomes. We understand that addressing prejudice on a personal basis does little by itself to reduce systemic structural racism. Part of the program is to introduce organizations like SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) and others to participants so that those that feel motivated to become allies and advocates know where to go to continue. The recent wave of protests across the world demonstrate the level of interest people have right now in engaging in these dialogues.
After the first year, the project will be self-sustainable, drawing funds from participant ticket sales for the dinner and show. Discounted and free tickets will be provided as needed. Information resources will be provided for those that want to additional advocacy training or mediation training in conjunction with The Institute For The Study Of Conflict Transformation, , developed by the early pioneers interested in the transformative approach to conflict.
Background:
The inspiration behind Home All started started with a desire to provide unhoused neighbors living on the streets with a pathway to appropriate housing or shelters that would support a fulfilling life experience. Hence the name of Home All. even after the focus changed to one of addressing other social justice issues we continued using the name Home All because it
felt good. It was not until very recently that the name Home All would be a metaphor for a broader vision inspired by the words of Mary Parker Follett.”We are home in our world. that we have not just happened on a cosmos, that is alien to us, that we have not come where we do not belong.” MP Follett. Creative Experience page 131, 2013 edition copyright 1924. She was a visionary in the field of social sciences and in business management systems in the 1930s where she was the go to consultant by major corporations of that time. Few men if any were aware of management systems other than the golden rule. I have the gold therefore I rule.
The following is some background in prejudice reduction.
A well respected Researcher, Dr. Elizabeth Paluck, Department of Psychology, Princeton University published a review article that asked the question, “What do social science scientists know about prejudice reduction?” Her answer, In short, “very little” Dr. Paluck went on to give a positive review of the recent work of Broockman and Green from Stanford and that state that a way to better understand the nature of prejudice is to study the successes and failures to change prejudice among various populations around the world.
Prejudice is a social construct connected with the dynamics of power and becomes institutionalized by those most powerful in the culture. Peoples brought up under long established customs and cultures incorporate and internalize the stereotypes which become common practice without much cognitive reflection. When one tries to address prejudice or racism among those who either feel defensive or unaware of their prejudice, one has to overcome guilt and denial. Few people want to be labeled as racist to others or to themselves. Paul Kivel (2017) The work of Broockman shows that listening and being listened to provide an opportunity to explore more perspectives. Itzchakov, G., Kluger, A. N., Castro, D. R. (2017). “I am aware of my inconsistencies but can tolerate them: the effect of high quality listening on speakers’ attitude ambivalence.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(1): 105-120. (Original DOI: 10.1177/0146167216675339)
Bibliography:
Bush, R. ,Folger,J. The Promise of Mediation, Empowerment and Recognition, Jossey Bass Publishers, San Francisco,1994
Brockman, D., Green,Kalla, J. Science, 353, 220 (2016)
Itzchakov, G., Kluger, A. N., Castro, D. R. (2017).
P. Kivel (2017), Uprooting Racism:How White People Can Work For Racial Justice,4th Edition, New Society Publishers, Canada
Knowles, M., Holton, E. & Swanson, R. (2015). The adult learner: The definitive classic in adult education and human resource development.(8th ed.). New York, New York: Routledge.
Paluck, E.How to overcome prejudice, A brief conversation can have a lasting effect on prejudice, (Science Magazine, 352, 147, (2016)